caroljane Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 from the Office of the First Lady of the United States to: Yingluck Shinawatra, President of ThailandDear Lucky,If you thought I was upset by those images of you flirting brazenly with my husband on a state occasion in front of all Southeast Asia, you couldn't be more wrong. I am above petty baseless jealousy, you little tramp.Obviously you get your kicks by hitting on world leaders in public. Therefore I suggest you get together with Arajarvi, the Finnish president's husband. You two were made for each other.And don't expect a state invite to Washington anytime soon. If I can't squash cheap sluts like you, then I'm no Lady.Michelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 7, 2012 Author Share Posted December 7, 2012 Note to wardrobe staff: For all future state meetings Finland, NO CLEAVAGE. Better expand that to all the Scands. The Danish amb. tells me that the Prince Consort is off the leash again.At his age, good Lord. Why don't those guys get a real job. Anyway you can't be too careful, so I'll wear the Temperley we planned for Sweden for the next dinner with the Bidens instead. At least Joe is well trained. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 7, 2012 Author Share Posted December 7, 2012 Hi honey, No, I didn't catch any of the SEA coverage..sorry, a little wardrobe flap and Sasha has a crush on her history teacher, I don't think it's anything to worry about... do you want cherry or blueberry pie for dessert tonight? Your M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
syrakusos Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 Carol, sorry for interrupting your conversation. I looked up the story. I had no idea... I do not really follow this kind of thing, but found a picture in the Guardian UK. But then there was George Bush and Angela Merkel, and Bill Clinton, of course... and Kennedy, and Eisenhower, and Roosevelt, and you know, Harding is rumored to have poisoned by his wife for his affairs... You might as well add Billy Bob Thornton as The American President in Love Actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 7, 2012 Author Share Posted December 7, 2012 Carol, sorry for interrupting your conversation. I looked up the story. I had no idea... I do not really follow this kind of thing, but found a picture in the Guardian UK. But then there was George Bush and Angela Merkel, and Bill Clinton, of course... and Kennedy, and Eisenhower, and Roosevelt, and you know, Hardiout ng is rumored to have poisoned by his wife for his affairs... You might as well add Billy Bob Thornton as The American President in Love Actually. a Ri Thank the lord, you missed the Peter MacKay-Condoleeza Rice scandal. He is now a happily married expectant father,and our future prime minister if he can just slip that vial into Harper's cocoa. I have also had my suspicions about Golda Meir and certain up-and-coming diplomats, but as a conscientious historian I will say nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 7, 2012 Author Share Posted December 7, 2012 btw Mike, you never interrupt my conversation, you just enhance it. I am batting my eyelids just now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Jacob Biodrowski Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 btw Mike, you never interrupt my conversation, you just enhance it.I am batting my eyelids just now.With whom were you conversing? Are there ghost users I don't yet know about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 8, 2012 Author Share Posted December 8, 2012 Intel#07854 = \ Its stand down on subject A-240, male caucausian age 41, has gone on every public white house tour since inauguration of current POTUS, also lurks on public property outside grounds. Subject is now classified as B-13, he is under the care of a psychiatriast all checked out, he has a condition called erotomania and believes that the president's mother-in-law is in love with him.He is not considered dangerous, In case this gets out, of course Mrs Marian Robinson has no comment etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 9, 2012 Author Share Posted December 9, 2012 from the Office of the First Lady of the United States to: POTUS re: yr offer letter from Emir Thanks a lot for kicking this one over to me dear. Couldn't you just have explained to him that it isn't our custom to give girls in marriage at any age let alone 14, we don't care how many goats he has? M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 9, 2012 Author Share Posted December 9, 2012 Intel #007996 - Jesus Christ! He got away from the tour somehow and into the kitchen while she was there talking to the chef and now he's in hospital custody, she whacked him pretty good with that frying pan. The chef got minor injuries but he'll be ok, recommend some kind of medal or maybe a raise. No reporters onto it so far so our sorry asses are saved. So far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 9, 2012 Author Share Posted December 9, 2012 OK, so he was on the tour with Our Lady of Perpetual Anhedonia and was indistinguishable from the other nuns. There's no excuse for a security lapse like this. Still no media, pray hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 The O'biwan Administration "preys hard" on all productive businesses...This was a paid commercial announcement from the Revolutionary Council Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 Intel#076587- Yeah, it's those wackos again. They're harmless. Their chief strategist is, get this, a chimpanzee who's not even able-bodied. Watch those Anhedonist nuns anyway, they're singing in a choir at St Pat's tomorrow, Whoopi is going to be in the audience so heads UP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 DAD, I know you say this is Mom's department but it is not FAIR and it is a question of FAIRNESS and that is what life and history is about, and it is not FAIR to treat me different because I am 11 when all the other girls in my class wear heels and I am not allowed to just because of age it is not FAIR and Malia can wear them just because she is older and she doesnt need them anyway I always thought you were FAIR why do you always do what Mom says even when she is not FAIR? Sasha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Because he a pussy whipped pansy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 Typical American husband, we trust and believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 Mal--I heard Julio say to Rick that Granny could get charged with felonious assault if the crazy guy wants to sue her??!!! How weird is that and he wants to marry Granny how weird is THAT I mean I love Granny but imagine to get married when your 41!!! Sash can you lend me your yellow shoes for school tomorrow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 No, huh? How about I just casually mention about you and Ethan Samuelson at your locker last Friday, everybody noticed. His dad's a Republican! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 Sasha - oh, take the shoes you pathetic child, isn't it lucky they fit you because you have such great BIG FEET. For your information Ethan's Dad is NOT a Republican he is a pediatrician. You are so lame. Malia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 Intel #30408976 Check out Asian guy , Canadian passport, claims to be Presidents brother-in-law or something, jeez they're all coming out of the woodwork on my shift. Check ties with the Anhedonians and the frying pan fruitcake. Name on passport is Perry Ng. Probably an alias. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 How many goddam relations does the President have? Can't we get Beck to locate them and identify them for us? Maybe I'm getting to old for this job.I coulda coped with Mormons, at least they all look alike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 Dear Ms Malia Ann, Thanks for the shoes. Really! You looked great in the Xmas photo and thanks for not telling Mom to check my outfit even tho you didnt like it, you are the coolest sister ever. Mom didnt like it either but why did she keep muttering about elves being Scandinavian? Do you think she is losing it with all the pressure? Natasha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 11, 2012 Author Share Posted December 11, 2012 Convent of the Sacred Angst Weeping Willow Lane, Washington Dear Mr. President, Firstly, let me say how much my sisters and I"enjoyed" our recent tour of the White House and its woeful heritage of the empty pomps and vanities of this world. As we became aware later, our group was inadverdently part of an unfortunate incident. Of course we were appalled that our sacred sorority was so used by one who is sick of soul. I understand that the deluded culprit was raised in the United Church. Agent Bukowski who interviewed us behaved very correctly, and his jocose remarks about "frisking" Sr. Sr Agonista when he got off duty" were taken in good part and lightened with "humour" what you will appreciate was a distressing occasion for us. Be assured of our prayers as you struggle to guide the Ship of State through sinful waters. God and our Mother Foundress bless you, my son. Yours in lamentation, Mother Dolours Order of Our Lady of Perpetual Anhedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaalChatzaf Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 Convent of the Sacred AngstWeeping Willow Lane, WashingtonDear Mr. President,Firstly, let me say how much my sisters and I"enjoyed" our recent tour of the White House and its woeful heritage of the empty pomps and vanities of this world.As we became aware later, our group was inadverdently part of an unfortunate incident. Of course we were appalled that our sacred sorority was so used by one who is sick of soul. I understand that the deluded culprit was raised in the United Church.Agent Bukowski who interviewed us behaved very correctly, and his jocose remarks about "frisking" Sr.Sr Agonista when he got off duty" were taken in good part and lightened with "humour" what you will appreciate was a distressing occasion for us.Be assured of our prayers as you struggle to guide the Ship of State through sinful waters.God and our Mother Foundress bless you, my son.Yours in lamentation,Mother DoloursOrder of Our Lady of Perpetual AnhedoniaOh God! How depressing!Ba'al Chatzaf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 12, 2012 Author Share Posted December 12, 2012 Hey Rick - the Buke is hitting on nuns now.Got this from Ellen in CorrMon. Nuns! If my mamacita heard this, she'd make me quit my job lol. -Ju Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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